Posts written by Jesse: 2. Miles left: 878.25
I “friended” the Jonas brothers three f*#king months ago, and they have yet to accept. It’s been perhaps the greatest disappointment of my life, next to every single museum I’ve ever been to. Why have a facebook page for fans if you’re not willing to take one god damn minute and accept their friendship?
My distaste for the Jonas brothers rivals my aversion towards fellow students who vote for late fines. I don’t think I’m taking a leap when I say that these are the same type of people that started the Nazi party. Why do people care so much about “disrespecting the professors”? They’re not religious figures. They spent six years in school so they could be called professors instead of nerds.
While I’m venting, you know what chaps my ass, people that hijack others’ dislikes. It’s hard for me to believe that so many people hate clowns or the words moist and panties. I like clowns, and I LOVE panties and nothing beats a hot clown wearing panties, moist clown panties. I hate the world bulbous – no one steal it.
The picture above is me in the library reading cases. I’ve had a hell of a time staying awake for case work these days. I usually read for five minutes and then become interested in what my nipples are doing. I can stare at those cute red orbs for hours, just willing them to lactate. What do they do all day? Shhhh, I think they’re napping.
My old study method was to hold in my urine, creating just enough pain to keep me awake. But an accident last week followed by a low-grade track infection forced me into unchartered waters. I’ve chosen the nude approach – keeps me alert and focused. And when the dean walks in, my bulbous is ready to go.
JN, esquire
Posts written by Jesse: 1. Miles left: 933.5
So listen guys, I’m a bit nervous. I’ve never blogged before and until I met C.S. I thought blogging was for fat people. And while she has certainly made me rethink my perception, this is likely to be my first and last post.
I guess there are a few directions I could take this. I could use this medium to get through to my parents for once. Like telling them that Julio was NOT my GMAT tutor and that we were NOT studying that whole time in my room. And that they should let me lead my life!! Leave me alone!!!!!!!
Also, mom, can you tell Grandma Ruth that my birthday money never arrived this year, and I could really use it.
I could toss out a random pop culture question to show people that I have a sense of humor….like what ever happened to Cockroach from the Cosby show? The bestest character actor of all time. But the internet has made this quite easy to find. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Anthony_Payne_II.
Instead, I decided to publish the picture above. Aside from being the first place C.S. and I made love, my favorite toilet at business school is the subject of this post. Honestly, finding a good thunderbox at this school has been extremely difficult. There’s way too much through traffic downstairs to be able to concentrate. Also, there’s a huge crack between the door and the frame, enough space to actually make eye contact with people. I think I saw the dean in there last week –he winked at me.
Upstairs the executive education gorillas are always forming an absurd line. Why are they always in there? Is there a post-graduate colonics class I don’t know about? And why are they always wearing tucked in polo shirts with id necklaces – they look like retarded gym teachers.
In closing, my spot – second toilet, outside the auditorium – has been my greatest find. This 6’ by 4’ tiled Camalot has been the home of many long thoughts, case preparation, two phone interviews, and even a blind date (I got to second base). And in telling everyone this, I hope others will come to enjoy and celebrate. See everyone in the bathroom!
Thanks.
J
This face is terrifying. Night out at Boylan Heights/Wild Wings and dinner at Continental Divide. Miles left: 973
