120

I can't believe it's already the last day of classes. To celebrate, a bunch of us went out to Neal's house for a BGIA dinner and general raucousness. The food was delicious and the company spoke highly of Charlie Murphy. The night ended at LASA, and in the words of Patrick, I love LASA. Vicious savages, as George would say.

Quote of the day:

"Will the clowns in this rodeo be carrying guns?"

Miles left: 712

119

What did the five fingers say to the face?

Miles left: 717

UPDATE.

I just got the best response from Jeff... ever.

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 3:34 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: I must confess

Catherine

As I sit here in on the last day of classes, I find myself torn. I want to hate you. Need to hate you. But, plain and simple, cannot hate you. Your adorable attempts at humor make me grin. Letting me win 143 straight points in squash and completely missing the golf ball (numerous times) at the driving range when my drives were only going 310 yards, made me feel better about myself and shows how truly humble you are. For these reasons, and a plethora of others, I think you can see why I, your biggest foe, have fallen for you.

I heard you’re going to be in New York this summer. So will I. Maybe we can hang out. Or something. If you’d be into that. But if not, I understand. But if you do, I’d be up for it. It’s totally up to you, but I think it could be fun. But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But either way, I hope to hear from you. Unless you don’t want to write back, which would be disappointing, but I could deal with. Not easily though, so I hope you write me. Or you could call. But I don’t know if you have my number. But I don’t want to give it to you, because what if you don’t call? But…what if you do? It would probably be worth it, but now I’m thinking about how distraught I’d be if you didn’t call. I’ll think about it.

I miss you….and am yours for eternity

Jeffery

 

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 3:36 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: My number

Okay, so I’ve thought about it for a few minutes and want to give you my number. You don’t have to call, but you can. I hope you do, but you don’t have to. If you do, and I don’t pick up, just leave a message. Or don’t. Either way I hope you call.

Yours forever

Jeffery

 

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 3:45 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: Get it?

I just sent you my number and I noticed it got stuck in my outbox, so I’m not sure if you got it yet. Shoot me an email or call me or text me if you get it. Or just call me whenever you want if you get it. But if you don’t want to call you could still text me. Or just reply to this email. I should be around my computer. And my phone. So you can do whatever.

Yours

Jeffery

 

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 4:03 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: Got your number from Carol! J

Hi! So, I called one of our mutual friends and got your number and shot you a text. Just incase the email with my number never went out. It looks like the text was delivered, but not received, so I just wanted to make sure you received it. Look forward to hearing from you soon! Unless you don’t want to respond, in which case it was nice talking to you.

Jeffery

 

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 4:14 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: May not have gone through…let me know

Hey – I called you incase the email and texts haven’t been going through, and my phone cut out as I was leaving a message, so I called back and left another message to make sure you got it. Did you? If so just respond. I guess if you didn’t get it, you won’t respond and if you did and don’t want to respond, you won’t respond, so maybe I just won’t know. But I hope you do. Please respond? If you got the message?

Jeffery

 

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 4:31 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: Server outage

So, I just got an email that our server was down so below I attached the five emails I’ve sent in the past hour. They said it was a short outage, but I’m not sure what emails went through. I don’t think it should have affected the texts or voicemails, but incase it did I sent you another text and left an additional voicemail. Just shoot me a text or call me or email me to let me know you got them. If you want.

Jeff

 

From: Jeffery
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2009 4:40 PM
To: Catherine
Subject: I’m so sorry

So I don’t think this is working out. It’s me, not you. I feel like I’m not giving you my all and that you deserve better. If you want to talk about it, let me know. Otherwise, I had a great time with you, and wish you the best going forward.

It was great while it lasted, and I had a really good time. I hope you don’t take this too hard, but if you do, we can talk about it. You know how to reach me.

Your friend

Jeff

118

Sat in on a lecture by Vicente Fox, former president of Mexico. It was somewhat unreal that I was only a few feet away from him, and that someone of his stature would fly all the way out to our little Cville to talk about leadership and politics. Followed it up with a viewing of the Caps game and a full round of BBH. It turns out I'm really good at the part where you kill the bucks, but I get hosed in the extra rounds. I have decided that by the BBH tournament next year, I will be awesome at this game. It depresses me to think about how much money that will cost. Miles left: 722

117

Tonight I finally got to stretch the old legs and get in a 5.5mi run. I started at about 7:30pm and ran for almost an hour as the sun set over the UVA campus. As the Jeffersonian columns whizzed by me like strobe lights and the smell of water and grass and dogwoods sifted through the air, I was for the first time of the season able to experience that insatiable smell of the outdoors. It reminded me of my weekends at soccer practice or times when I didn't have something on my ludacrous online calendar every second of the dag day. It also made me think hard about whether I could live in a city like New York, where the simple smells of country life are squashed by the enticing but unsatisfactory smells of a city existance. I then got embarrassed that I was feeling deep because of something as simple as the smell of fresh cut grass... but then again, let's face it, I'm pretty simple these days. 

Miles left: 725.5

116

On the way back from T&K's for laundry and reflection, I caught this snapshot of the cows in their neighboring field. I have always loved how cows feel obligated to look at you when you approach them. 

I have attached my response to Jeff's email below. Miles left: 731

Dear “Jeff”:

I would respond to every one of your useless points, but doing so would only acknowledge them as worthy of my time and effort. Which, let’s be frank, they were not. A personal hero of mine once said, “You are out of your element. You are like a child who has wandered into a room with no frame of reference.” I couldn’t say it better myself. I was shocked, nay, appalled at your response. You are the unfunny wolf in a sheep’s clothing of distressingly bad taste. Your shameless name dropping did little to impress me, not to mention the glaring inaccuracies of your statements showed a complete lack of professionalism. Not only did you falsify relationships with famous people to improve your own image, but your boyfriend Steve the bouncer at Three is really upset that you so viciously “left him out to dry,” (his words, not mine).

Also the jerk store called… they’re running out of you.

Sincerely,

A person fully capable of speaking to the opinions of white protestant women everywhere

115

Wow wow wow and wow. First Foxfield experience was a great one. Started at Tom and Kim's for a pre-game of bagels, mimosas, and bloody mary's. We then took pictures to highlight the absurdly pastel appearance of our rag-tag group. "Chuckles," as my dad referred to Bruce on the right, did eventually lighten up and have fun. He also is the boss... but whatever. Miles left: 731

114

We finally saw the culmination of months of work with a fabulously successful Follies show. Beforehand, the DNIF carnival provided lots of video fodder. I sumo wrestled Landry (shown above) and lost in the second round of musical chairs.  Seth, Kevin, Aman, and Anna arrived, and hilarity ensued, including the culminating event of a triple artillery shell lighting the sky over Old Ivy Road. We hit the sack early to prepare for Foxfields. Miles left: 731

113

A phenomenal response trumped my email of yesterday. Let the games begin. Miles left: 731

Dear Protestant white women,

It is you, I fear, who are the witches you Protestants so vehemently prosecute. No apology shall be rendered by me. Action against my scholarship is fruitless, as I am scholarship free. Further, I have no canine friends I may call my own, so these are empty threats that to not make me fear you. Insensitive, immature and crass you may consider me, but that is far better than the attractive, muscular and intelligent adjectives people generally ascribe to me. I’m so over being built up all the time that these (though inaccurate) words make me feel good that not everyone perceives me as perfect. It is Change I Need. Speaking of Change, Barack just happens to be one of my closest confidants. He sought my advice when his pastor started acting up, and his support, I assure you, you will not find. Additionally, I personally saved and nurtured back to heath Ted (Sen. Kennedy to you) on June 19, 1964, when our Aero Commander 680 crashed puncturing his lung, breaking his ribs and causing his internal bleeding. In fact, I gave him two of my floating ribs to replace those he fractured. I am physical phenomenon. I need only 11 ribs. Fear me.

Newton is no confidant of yours, either. The truth about gravity is that it was discovered when we one afternoon were drinking, and he fell down. I asked him what made him tumble. He told me the beer. I said, “No, my friend. That was gravity.” We came up with the apple as a cover-up, as he was in AA and supposed to be off the bottle. The Pope owes me favors. Everyone knows dead Pope’s relinquish their email addresses. I am not afraid of you.

Your mom and my mom had a thing in college. They’re on my team, because my sister is gay. I didn’t go to preschool; I went from the womb straight to 4^th grade. How does it feel to be tangled in a web of impossible threats? Jack Dog is mine for a day. I bought him in BGiA. Mine. I write Jerry’s standup. I found him Elaine. We’re tight. I think you meant to say future wives, but I will not hold it against you. Who needs children? My seed will find places to grow, and you shall never contain it. NEVER. Thomas Jefferson liked me so much that he changed his last name to be closer to my first. It used to be Cundtz. Few people know this. I also introduced him to Sally. He thanks me daily.

You can have the bouncer at Three.

Regards,

Jeff 

112

I will attach an email I sent to O'Sheasy and Mirms today as my blog entry as I am tired, and it took up any and all creative juices I had to spare for today. Miles left: 731

Dear Jeff,

On behalf of the white Protestant women of the school, I was offended by your email and would like to receive an apology from you. If you do not deliver the apology, I will take action to revoke your scholarship and will probably go to where ever you are from and kick your family dog. I believe you are insensitive, immature, and crass. On this email, I have also cc’d Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, Sir Isaac Newton, Jesus, The Pope, The Pope that just died, my mom, your mom, your preschool principal, Jack Dog, Jerry Seinfeld, your future wife and children, Thomas Jefferson, and the bouncer at Three(.). I believe they will also take issue with your actions and will smite you accordingly. Please advise that a restraining order will be sent to you in the mail in no less than three business days, and that your US citizenship will likely be revoked as you are hurting the brand of our country.

May god have mercy on your cursed soul,

Catherine

111

The final four contestants in the schools Big Buck Hunter competition. I probably should have stayed in and worked, but who am I to miss a BBH tournament? Miles left: 731

110

Brett and Ryan working on the Scott N. skit for follies...

This week has been insane. I filmed narration for a skit tonight, and if you have to be working 14 hour days, working on Follies is certainly the way to do it. I didn't go to sleep until 4am, and still didn't get to my marketing problem set. Tomorrow and our LO presentation should be interesting... Miles left: 731

109

I found this picture on O'Sheasy's FB album today and took the liberty to steal it. This is amazing and 100% captures my experience in learning team. Miles left: 734

108

Amy and I ran the Charlottesville half marathon! We woke up at 5am, one of us on more sleep than the other, and booked it down to the Mall for 2.25 hours of jogging, catching up, and complaining about hills. We actually ran from the downtown mall all the way out to Tom and Kim's house. Afterwards, we ate candy beans and I tried to get a latte. When I parked in the lot at the Shenandoah Joe's, I found out that my car alarm was malfunctioning, and every time I took the keys out of the ignition, it went off. I called my mother, who laughed at the sound of the alarm and my helpless cries of "lock! unlock! why won't you listen to me??!" I was a prisoner in my car and was devastated about the latte. After dropping off the car at the dealership (still running, lest I blow out the windows of the mechanic's office with my insatiable alarm), I headed over for a rousing game of Pong (Dartmouth style) in Ivy Gardens and the men's lacrosse game. Sunburn is now my middle name. Miles left: 734

107

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNA!!!

Normally the day before a half marathon, a good idea would be to eat pasta, get some sleep, and not get sunburned. I wanted to test this theory by doing none of those things today. I spent 7 hours at Suhey's house for a good old fashioned BBQ and game of King of the Mountain Flip Cup. I beat Kevin...and Joel...and the world... and also made a hamburger with guacamole, pepper jack cheese, and sweet baby ray's BBQ sauce. All were amazing experiences and have only solidified my high opinion of Mr. Suhey and the happenings of his fine collegiate abode. Miles left: 747

Quotes of the afternoon:
"If it weren't for this prison of clothes, this would truly be a fantastic afternoon." - Joel

"You see, this is why I'm not on facebook. It would get in the way of my ability to execute lies." - Woodson

106

TNDC was a big success. We packed the Biltmore with tons of people supporting the Rugby team. At about 11pm, we decided to start taking one of the best picture serieseses ever, ie Travis takes a picture of you while you are shaking your head wildly. Also in the photo shoot: Jesse looks like a total creep. Miles left: 747

105

I caught this gem of a video while we were bowling on Wednesday night. Bucky was demonstrating how to "ride a chair" I believe is the term. Let's just say: Great success. Miles left: 747

104

The marketing club had its transition dinner tonight! Lots of delicious drinks and yummy food at the Local. Oddly enough (though I can't say it was a coincidence), the finance club had their meeting at the table next to ours. They gave out money clips for presents, and we gave out blankets. Let the stereotypes abound! This was as good of a shot as I could get without being obtrusive. Miles left: 747

103

I love this shot of Anna, and even though it was taken on Easter, I thought I would put it up in a tribute to the fact that this week marks her 24th birthday. Happy Birthday, Anna! Miles left: 747

102

This may be the most anticipated eating day of my year: Easter brunch at the club. We strategically ate a small breakfast (you can’t go in too hungry or your stomach will shrink) before everyone minus me went to church. During the children’s sermon at church, the pastor gave the children an Easter present that was just an empty box (symbolizing how the disciples looked for gifts from Jesus in all the wrong places). When he opened the box, a four year old child yelled out “oooo awkward!” After church, we headed to the club for the traditional bloody mary on the porch and bingefest in the ballroom. Clare complained about a headache, to which Gaga replied, “Oh, they keep tylenol behind the bar.” And, she was right.

Miles left: 750 

Follow-up great quote of the night: "I don't have strep. I have swallow sadness." -BR

101

Ran 8 miles along Ridge Road with Amy in preparation for our half marathon next weekend. We are definitely not prepared but whatever. At least it’s throwing a lot of miles at my resolution. Afterwards, I cried inside for missing Neal’s Easter party, and I hopped in the car with Tom, Kim, and Anna V to drive to DC for Easter. At pre-dinner cocktail hour, Gaga warned us not to get near roosters because they can kill people. She also asked a great question while we were discussing my blog:

“Catherine’s blog get 60,000 hits per month!” – Tom
“What are you doing to get all those people to read it? Sending your measurements and stripping?” – Gaga

Well said. A true NCS alum. 

Miles left: 753.75

100

First time white water rafting! The outdoors club had our spring rafting trip along the New River, one of the oldest rivers in the world, which apparently used to be a tributary to the Nile back in Pangaea. Our guide told us that and many other interesting facts, and Caroline observed at one point that we would probably believe anything he said regardless of its plausibility. We did class I through V rapids. We started the day at Tudor's Biscuit World, which is likely to be the best thing West Virginia has produced since my grandmother left the state 50 years ago. 

Some of the guide's best quotes of the day...

"Don't fight it, ride it" 

"The past is history, the future is a mystery, so live in the present" 

"Stroke it and ride it" 

"She's looking to get Stanhandled" 

"Do you need ducktape? No, why? Because you look ripped." 

"Can I get you a straw? For what? To suck it up" 

"I'm deep like a whale." 

Miles left: 761.75

99

I woke up, went to class, and drove 3 hours with Neal, Mike, and Brian to West Virginia. Neal's neighbor's dog Rusty the Crusty got stuck in Neal's driver side bunny hole and held up the caravan for 5 minutes until he fell out backwards on his own accord. Jack Dog was ecstatic to be included on the road trip, as illustrated by his bat ears position above. He spent most of the car ride with his head out of the window or sitting in my lap so that his front half could be in the cockpit with Neal. Hilarity ensued at the campsite, and I'm not sure West Virginia cared for our loud music. Miles left: 764.75

98

What can I say, sometimes I get bored in class. This fine work of art depicts the ethical dilemma that George brought up in class today. He made an excellent point, but all anyone could stick on was the fact that he talked about a cat on fire. Miles left: 764.75

97

No this is not a joke and yes that is actually my schedule for this week. Whoever said school got easier in the 4th quarter was full of $%#@ (I blame John Denver). I don't even have time to work out... or at least that's what I tell myself. Miles left: 764.75

Website of the day: 

fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com

96

For the NCAA championship, we watched UNC lay the smack down on Michigan State. Clearly we watched the match at Neal's house, and I found it particularly funny when I saw the ingredients on the box of beef that Neal was using to make cheesesteaks. Thank you for the heads up... now we can ensure that no vegeterians try your beef because it appears to contain beef. Miles left: 769

95

This may have been my least smart decision but also one of my best. After 12 hours of house building, I drove 2 1/2 hours to DC, got 6 hours of sleep, and ran 10 miles on the mall at 7:40am. Aman made a surprise visit to DC and ran with me! We made it in a little over 9 minute miles which was way beyond my expectations. Afterwards, I hopped in my car and booked it back to Charlottesville for Follies filming. Who does that? Miles left: 769

94

Finally the day has come! We spent 12 hours raking, vine-pulling, seeding, hammering, painting, scraping, eating, drinking, handling power tools, and tomfoolering [sic] at our BGIA build day. We did a lot of good, and the place looks incredible! The contractors did great work. Thanks to everyone who helped out! After a gruelling but satisfying day under the sun, I met up with Jen who caught me up on her life in 45minutes. I then drove to DC and tried to get at least 6 hours of sleep before I ran 10 miles the next day. Miles left: 779

93

Section B rented out a building called the Lodge that used to be a frat at UVA. Bucky snuck into their ritual room and found a cape. I imagine the frat boys used to go down there and play Ouiji. The party included a tournament of beirut baseball, a new twist on the original game that involves more people and stealing bases. We might just have to organize a larger tournament at school if I ever have less on my plate. It's almost as good as Teddy's 3v3 full contact constant action beirut. Miles left: 783

92

Today's picture is a stick figure representation of the preceedings of the evening. Apparently the marketing club found itself some really good wines and things really escalated quickly (see title of artwork). The protagonist is yours truly, and my accomplice is JoJo. Any night that ends with me drinking the leftovers of a 1998 Bordeaux while watching Tivoed episodes of The Biggest Loser is a good night in my book. Miles left: 785

91

April Fools Day at Darden. The first issue that I worked on for the CCC came out today, and I think it turned out pretty funny! None of the stories were real, except for the really small print that said that the Follies are on April 24th at 7pm. Section A lost the Drden Cup, both in actuality and in this fake arm wrestling competition with Landry and Travis. Miles left: 785