Dear State of Virginia,The above photo is of your "severe winter weather" as recently described by school officials. Before we proceed with our obviously unrelated lives, I wanted to make sure you were aware of a few key points.
1) "Wintry mix" is not a synonym of "apocolyptic doom". Plan accordingly.
2) The following are not reasons to cancel school, fear death, or (even worse) worry about missing your interviews:
a) Rain
b) Rain mixed with snow
c) Sub 40 degree temperatures
d) Ice accumulating on a car (trying turning the car on for 30 seconds... it tends to melt)
e) Seemingly threatening clouds
f) Wind
g) The expectation of snow
3) An appropriate reaction to weather is "oh no, honey, get the stilts. Kyle (age 9) won't be able to see over the snow today." An inappropriate reaction to the weather is girlish complaining, more than one email describing emergency procedures, and overuse of green mud-like sand on sidewalks.
On the positive side, we had a good laugh today at how you floundered about in the wonderland.
Sincerely,
The State of Chicago
P.S. Miles left 938.5
Nicely put. I think Virginia needs an exchange program with Minnesota.
ReplyDeleteI think you meant the State of Illinois. Though it'd be awesome if Chicago was its own state.
ReplyDeleteWhere's today's picture?
ReplyDeleteThe state of Chicago is a joke... i.e. it's the only important thing in Illinois/no one in Chicago knows there's an Illinois outside of Chicago. Without Chicago, Illinois would be, well, Indiana.
ReplyDeleteWell said! ;)
ReplyDelete