143

So we woke up today thinking we would go camping. It was a noble pursuit... until we drove for three hours to find out every camp ground in the Charlottesville area was completely booked. We were all pretty bummed about it, what with all the food we bought. But, in the words of Scott, I don't care where I sleep tonight as long as it's in a tent. We called our good friend Suhey and 30 minutes later we were camping... in his back yard on Rugby Ave. This is a picture of us at the campsite (Horseshoe Gap). Ganter even came out of the house and ate dinner/breakfast with us. Nicole brought coffee from Greenberry's in the morning. All-in-all, one hell of a camping trip. Miles left: 631.5

140

The boys and I headed out for a round of golf at Birdwood. Here we are looking for the stray shots at the par 3 hole over the lake. You know what's slower than 4 people going at once on the golf course? 6 people going at once. And then some guy almost hit Brian and Patrick with his shot. Miles left: 641

126

Spent the day at Neal's, left briefly for a Follies dinner, and came back to find Suhey dressed as the Easter bunny. Dancing ensued and culminated with Kevin wearing the rabbit shoes out to Coupe's for Crosby's birthday. Scott B. taught me the correct way to dance with a disco ball. It continued to rain. Mother Nature did not care for our Cinco de Mayo intentions. Miles left: 700

125

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Neal threw a great 5deM party at his house, complete with slip and slide, smoke machine, disco ball, and clown pinatas. Above is Patrick preparing the ring of water on the slip and slide. I had beginners luck with my enchiladas (cheese in red sauce and chicken in homemade mole sauce). Hard to believe it was the last big get together on Dry Bridge Road. Will better take over next year and do it right. Brian, Nicole, Mike, and I all went to see Bruce... and he was amazing. Like many concerts I go to, I was surprised about how much music he's made that I've never even heard of. All in all worth the pain I put my parents through to get the tickets. My bbbbb. Miles left: 700

112

I will attach an email I sent to O'Sheasy and Mirms today as my blog entry as I am tired, and it took up any and all creative juices I had to spare for today. Miles left: 731

Dear Jeff,

On behalf of the white Protestant women of the school, I was offended by your email and would like to receive an apology from you. If you do not deliver the apology, I will take action to revoke your scholarship and will probably go to where ever you are from and kick your family dog. I believe you are insensitive, immature, and crass. On this email, I have also cc’d Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, Sir Isaac Newton, Jesus, The Pope, The Pope that just died, my mom, your mom, your preschool principal, Jack Dog, Jerry Seinfeld, your future wife and children, Thomas Jefferson, and the bouncer at Three(.). I believe they will also take issue with your actions and will smite you accordingly. Please advise that a restraining order will be sent to you in the mail in no less than three business days, and that your US citizenship will likely be revoked as you are hurting the brand of our country.

May god have mercy on your cursed soul,

Catherine

96

For the NCAA championship, we watched UNC lay the smack down on Michigan State. Clearly we watched the match at Neal's house, and I found it particularly funny when I saw the ingredients on the box of beef that Neal was using to make cheesesteaks. Thank you for the heads up... now we can ensure that no vegeterians try your beef because it appears to contain beef. Miles left: 769

88

Enjoyed one of the best days in weeks by working outside all day, drinking wine with the WACC peeps at Enoteca, and generally loving life. Jack Dog was also having a good time in the fountain. Miles left: 791

59

Neal's neighbor is well prepared for our shooting of fireworks. Miles left: 850

46

We went back to Neal's and shot more artillary shells. Since I've already written enough about Neal, I will include a previous piece I sent to Crosby and Kevin Graney. Website of the day: http://funnyvideos.todaysbigthing.com/2009/01/20. Miles left: 882

Stuff MBAs Like (vol 1)

Being a Big Deal

There are few masters degrees that do not carry a title. An MBA is one of them. For this reason, many MBAs feel inadequate in the Graduate Degree population. The condition has been described in popular literature as the suffix complex. The MBA compensates for this complex by wholeheartedly convincing himself that he is a really big deal.

You’ll notice at dinner parties, if an MBA encounters one of his graduate school counterparts, he will immediately move into defensive mode and start talking about The Journal. When in this kind of situation with an MBA, try to make references to a WSJ front page story from the last day or so. Don’t go much further into the past, and definitely don’t mention an article that wasn’t on the front page. This runs the risk that the MBA will have no idea what you are talking about, thus amplifying their feelings of inadequacy. If you mention an article that he knows anything about, be prepared to be bombarded with large, improperly used, multi-syllabic words (example: trans-culturalism) or acronyms. It’s ok if you have no idea what he’s talking about… he doesn’t know either beyond the fact that he sounds like a really big deal.

Of the suffix population, PhDs are particularly difficult for an MBA to come to terms with. Because, let’s face it, the PhD is probably really smart and stuff but makes no money and wears tweed jackets with patches on the elbows. Baffling. When faced with a PhD, an MBA will likely talk about their non-profit work. This generally involves no actual work experience in the non-profit sector, but a desire to at some point get involved. The MBA would never actually give up their competitive salary to work in non-profit, but he feels good about saying he would consider it. The anecdotes shared by the MBA will generally have nothing to do with the work of the PhD, but in the eyes of an MBA, PhD work all falls into the “hippy” category and isn’t worth parsing apart.

If you have an advanced degree and encounter an MBA, you may see another suffix complex defensive maneuver: the use of fancy words and clichéd catch phrases. To make it easier to converse with him, a short translation is included below.

At the end of the day

This is an MBA’s way if signaling that they are about to say something profound and all-encompassing. It’s their way of saying “Hey, here’s some wisdom I’m about to impart on you because I’m educated in the field of Management. Write it down.” It’s also a confusing saying because let’s face it, it assumes that there is no tomorrow. If all that matters is what happens at the end of the day, what happens tomorrow? The answer is, who cares, because what I just said was deep. If you had spent two years of your life reliving college at an inappropriately old age, you may have been able to figure this out yourself.

Contrary to popular belief

This phrase is particularly tricky. You may not know it but the MBA is belittling you. The implication here is that you are a commoner, and that you hold the beliefs of a commoner. The MBA is a big deal, and he is aware of beliefs that are held by the public despite being false. He probably read the facts that come after this phrase in a book, and said book likely came from the large bookshelf he conspicuously placed next to his television so that when people come over to watch the football game, they are reminded that the MBA probably doesn’t want TV in his spare time… he reads. But since you’re over visiting, he’ll consider watching the game on his 120in flat screen TV.

I agree with everything you’ve said, but...

MBAs suffer from an acute need to have everyone like them. If they disagree with you (which is often… big deals usually hold contrarian opinions), they will first preface their argument by saying you’re 100% right. You stop and think oh, that’s great, this big deal smart guy thinks I’m right, and then they hit you with the fact that they think everything you’ve said is moronic. It’s confusing, but it’s the game we have to play.

Long story short, if encountering an MBA, you must remember that he or she believes 100% that they are kind of a big deal. If you were to bring up evidence proving otherwise, you will most likely lose you your invitation to 80s night. 

44

We went over to Neal's and naturally played with fire. Five of us then drove to Ivy, where we shot fireworks out of my sunroof. From the comfort of their apartments, Craddock and Jesse thought they were gunshots. "I'm from Brooklyn... I know what gunshots sound like." Miles left: 884

42

With Neal at the first night of Wednesday bowling. We ordered white russians ala the Big Lebowski (hell of a caucasian) and I only broke 100 once. Whateves. Going back for round two on Thursday night. Pitchers consumed by Leif's team: 13. Miles left: 892.

38

I chose this picture from Neal's dinner because it was accidentally taken when no one was looking. Any night that ends with Sutton and me dominating undergrads at Boylan Heights shuffle board is a good night in my book. Miles left: 903.

31

Tara and I went to Neal's house and shot stuff off the porch. Tara mentioned that "the last time I held a gun, I shot someone". It later came out that it was a BB gun... never mind. The south is a wonderful place. We played poker, and Tara went all in on the first hand. She also did so in the second hand. She lasted exactly two hands. However, the important thing is that she was wearing sunglasses, so no one knew what her next move would be. Miles left: 933.5